Three days ago I decided to get coaching on FOOD !

Such an important part of my life,  food,  a direct barometer of how focused I am  on my goals and aspirations. When I am on, I am happy, aligned and feel great.  When I indulge in being “normal” life throws challenges my way, I eat against my values  and experience a deep frustration and disappointment within myself.

So how can I win? really win? crack this code of self sabotage.  My answer was GET help, get someone to check in with and talk to about my day to day journey.

This blog is about my journey:

I signed up with Eric Rivkin  http://www.vivalaraw.org/living-community,  a fabulous raw food chef, to coach me through this  time of re establishing my raw life style, here in Costa Rica, as well as  find a way to deal with eating while I travel ( which I do a lot)  and get support with how to deal with socialising comfortably and still eating per my own desires and beliefs. These are all  goals, To stay true to my values, live what I believe, and enjoy the journey even when the world around me is dancing to a different tune.

Do this all with joy, calm grace and commitment. Not expecting others to be like me, or feeling the need to ” join them” in their journey – after all what makes life interesting is our differences, not our samenesses.

I chose to get coaching via Skype at home, with my limited supplies and a husband who does not eat as I do ( all reasons I have used as ” story” about why I have not eaten well in the past.) instead of going to spend a week or two with Eric on his farm.

If I can win under these conditions, I will find my way.

Eric had me list what attracted me to raw food, why I wanted to eat this way, what issues I wanted to deal with, and my ” addictions” or issues I fall into when I am NOT eating the way I like.

The list I made about what I want to address has been growing – I keep adding on as I gain confidence in all this.

Friday night was the consultation and Saturday was day one.

Major focus is healthier skin, more energy, and more elasticity in my body – I sometimes feel this creeping stiffness in my muscles which I could easily say is ” getting older”.

Yes, Eric assures me – we can deal with all of this, it is a build up of toxicity, not ” age”. Clean out your cells and your blood and you will start rebuilding a calmer more energetic more youthful tissue and organs – Sounds good to me.

First in the am I am now drinking water with lemon,  I am – per Eric, for the rest of my life, going to do this, as a simple way to cleanse my liver which has taken the blunt of the choices I have accumulated.

FINE with me.  Easy to do.

Coffee has not been dropped yet, ( but I am now down to one cup in the am, black).

The attachment to coffee is all emotional.

Today coffee did NOT taste very good.

“Spoothies” are the new for me and to be eaten in the morning every day.

a heavy cream sauce I make from fruit and greens , and then either pour the sauce over chopped fruit or sprinkle the fruit on top of the sauce.

If I can get enough greens into me it starts healing something in the brain that contributes to addictions ( carbs, sugar, cheese, caffeine  muffins – all indulgences I enjoy.)

arugula and papaya sauce under mango, bananas and " Caribbean lichi fruit"

arugula and papaya sauce under mango, bananas and ” Caribbean lichi fruit”

I am supposed to eat my biggest meal of the day mid day, between 12 – 3 pm, I have not yet shifted over to this yet.   I tend not to be hungry at this time, and used to doing most of the eating in the evening.

Even though not the right time – I made a lovely coleslaw from cabbage and broccoli last night.

Second dinner with an artistic flare.

Second dinner with an artistic flare.

I am on day three now,:

my biggest change is probably EMOTIONAL!

I feel calmer, less frustrated, happier, more accepting of others. Less critical.

Body feels less bloat ( yes,  feel pudgy at times and I am told it is the salt holding water in the tissue)

This morning I indulged – not greens, just the most amazing banana water melon ice cream ( frozen bananas with Cardoman and ginger – like perfume to the senses! )

I probably had about 6 bananas blended up, I wanted to get full, get happy and LOVE it.

This one was a master piece.

banana water melon ice cream with pineapple &melon pieces.

The photo does not do justice to the creamy pink custard like cream the fruit is resting on.

Heaven in a bowl – really.

So far emotions better,

skin a little better,

sleeping better,

Muscles slightly softer – I am doing a daily yoga practice, as well as starting out with Cross Fit!  I want to get back to feeling like an athlete – instead of talking about it. Right?

I have this inner sigh of relief about getting  back on track  – a home coming.

The question I ponder is – why do I leave my higher self choices?

I hope to crack that one …